The Unicorn Dress

Today marks my half way mark to being eligible for Green!  The sad part about today, or specifically about this week, is that I’ve fallen 2 classes behind having enough eligible classes before testing day (roughly November 24). It doesn’t mean I can’t do another private testing but I was hoping to try a group test.

Why did I miss those 2 classes?  My stupid knee.

In my last post I talked a little bit about my knee traction problem.Basically instead of the knee cap going up and down during basic things like walking, lunging, etc, it goes diagonally.  My last trip to chiro included a technique called Graston where she takes a a metal tool that looks like a blunt knife and scrapes scar tissue away through the skin.  I didn’t take a video at my appointment because I was either in tears or sweating too hard to think of it, but if you jump to 2:30 in this video it’ll give you a good idea of what I had done:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGeM-DuDmo4

After, she tapes me up which helps force the kneecap to go in the right direction:

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And then I took a trip to do some infrared sessions which gets the the blood flowing so that good tissue can rebuild faster:

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It looks very Frankenstein, I know.  But it really gets things flowing.

Out of my usual 4 classes a week, I only attended 2.  My Saturday morning class was after having 4 days of rest (1 chiro session and 2 infrared) and I took it pretty slow.  No squats, no rock climbers, no lunges, nothing.  But all the partner and bag work made me realize how much I use that knee!!  Stupid knee.  After getting home, I popped a few Aleve, had a bubbly (don’t worry I’m not including that photo!) and will wait until Monday to do another follow up class.  This also means I have to be extra careful so I can somehow squeeze in 2 classes into my regular schedule of 4/week  before November 24th.

But what was I actually going to talk about today?

I call this, the unicorn dress.

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Steve hates this dress… and I’ll tell you why.

I bought it several years ago as a “stretch” dress… as in, I need to lose that last few inches in order for it to look perfect on me.  Well guess what, I never lost those… and I may or may not have gained a couple more 😉

Steve hates this dress because every few weeks I try and put it on and angrily stomp around the house because it doesn’t fit right.  It zips up… but I also happen to look about 6 months pregnant in it. Stupid dress.  Usually by the end, he has to slide it off me like a banana peel and we’re both grunting and sweating from the ordeal.

I’m a clothing hoarder.. especially with pants.  They say you should toss out pants yearly that don’t fit because they go out of style anyways… but nope, I’m sitting on this pile since about 2008:

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I even have a pair of size 4 jeans in there.  Ya, I wore them after I got out of the hospital from a kidney infection.  I wore them once.  Then I got better.

I know we are all guilty of having things like these in our closets.  I’m willing to part with some of it, but that dress, I’m giving it one more shot.

And here’s the plan.

I’m a shitty eater.  I’m not necessarily talking eating pizzas all the time but more like… eat well for 4 days, then not eat anything for a day, then binge eat the next day on cereal only.  If I find time to plan my meals, especially for during the day I’m usually ok but if Steve’s not around for dinners I start wandering around the house at 7pm calling out his name.  On nights where I have late boxing classes, I usually just eat a protein bar before and then a shake after and call that dinner.

Those who know me or work with me know I don’t actually eat too much, which I think is a terrible stigma I give off given that I’m not stick thin.  And no, I don’t hide in my car eating McDonalds (that was my “fat-shannon” days circa 2010).  My weight comes from inconsistent eating patterns and my body often being under-fueled and confused.

So the plan.

I’m giving myself 60 days to clean up my nutrition act.  That puts me at December 23rd so that I can enjoy some Christmas dinner.

What it will include:

  • No alcohol (panic is setting in… literally my heart is racing)
  • No processed stuff (except bars/shakes)
  • No refined sugar
  • No gluten (hehe trick one! This is always the case!)
  • No dairy
  • Nothing fried
  • No friends… haha kidding, but this list feels pretty lonely….

It’ll include a lot of this:

What won’t it include?

  • No calorie counting.  I want this to feel like a “good choice” challenge, not a calculated make-work plan.
  • No cheating.  (I have one exception, noted below)
  • No jumping on the scale during the 60 days, just before and after.  Steve you better hide the scale (again).

 

What is the one exception?

We have  a trip to Vegas booked the second weekend of December.  There will be drinking and while I drink, I manage to find bags of chips… I can neither confirm nor deny that this may happen.

 

What is my goal out of this?

I better damn well lose some inches because I want to wear that dress on New Years Eve and I’m determined to take a picture in it and post it for you.  Steve… if you didn’t get the memo, you’re taking me out on New Years.

 

This starts tomorrow.